How To Orgasm Your Way to Success

What if orgasms were about more than just pleasure?

In this episode of Talk Sex with Annette, I’m joined by Venus O’Hara—author, sexual wellness expert, and host of the Orgasmic Lifestyle Podcast—to explore the O Method, also known as orgasmic manifestation.

We break down:

• What orgasmic manifestation actually is (and what it isn’t)
• How sexual energy can be used for intention, confidence, and change
• Why pleasure isn’t just instant gratification—it’s power
• How to start if masturbation feels awkward, shame-filled, or unfamiliar
• Whether you need to orgasm for the practice to work
• Why this matters especially for women navigating trauma, midlife, or desire shifts

Even if you don’t believe in manifestation, you’ll still get orgasms out of it.
 And you might rethink what pleasure is really for.

You can find Venu Here: https://www.venusohara.org/

You can order her book Orgasmic Manifestation Here: https://www.venusohara.org/orgasmic-manifestation

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Transcript

New Name, Same Unfiltered Sex Talk

SPEAKER_00 0:54

I'm Annette Benedetti, host of the podcast formerly known as Locker Room Talk and Job. The show has a new name, Talk Sex with Annette. But at its core, this is still your locker room. It's where we strip away shame, get curious, and speak the unspoken about sex, pink dating, pleasure, and desire. Around here, nothing's off limits. These are the kinds of conversations we save for our boldest group chat, our most trusted friends, and of course, the women's locker room. Think raw, honest, and sometimes unapologetically raunchy. Welcome to my podcast where desire meets disruption and pleasure becomes power. Let's talk about sex. Cheers. Today's Talk Sex with the Net topic is how to orgasm your way to success. That's right. We are going to be talking about how to use orgasms to manifest your dreams through something called the O method, the orgasmic manifestation method. If you have dreams you've been going after, but they just seem out of your reach, you are going to have another tool to add to your success, the sex success box for achieving them. And I'm really excited about this conversation today because my guest is the very first sex expert, if you will, that I ever stumbled upon as I was starting my podcast on my own journey. In my mind, she is the OG, the sex sport conversation. My guest today is Venusa O'Hara. She is a British-born, Barcelona-based sexual wellness expert, holistic self-love content creator, YouTuber, sex toy designer, meditation teacher, and host of the Orgasmic Lifestyle Podcast. She also has a book out that is going to take you over the O method. But of course, we are going to be talking about it here today because I'm going to start using it immediately after today, as we are recording, it is the Chinese New Year, by the way. So in for me, this year has started off not so hot. And I've been like, oh my God, is this new year going to be rough for me? But I feel the energy changing. I'm having this fantastic conversation with this amazing woman on the specific day. So I'm going to start my New Year's resolution, which is to follow this method to achieve my dreams for this year. Now, before we dive in, I want to remind you that I'm over on OnlyFans and there. I'm sharing my sex and intimacy, how-to's demonstrations and audio guided self-pleasure meditations. You can find me there and on Substack at TalkSex withinet. I also just launched my subscriber-only podcast, which has a lot of those audio guided meditations and how-to's there. And they come out every week. You can scroll down the notes below, and you're going to find links to wherever you want to find me there. And also wherever you want to find Venus O'Hara. But for now, I'm going to hand the mic over. And would you like to tell my listeners a little bit more about you?

SPEAKER_02 4:11

Thank you for that amazing introduction. I'm so happy to be here and we are so aligned in so many ways. Well, what else do I do? Well, I'm a Gemini, so I've I've got my finger in many pies, as we say. So I'm also using all my tools to raise orgasmic awareness, very similar to you. So I mean, I'm with my podcast, my YouTube, and my written work as well. I've published four books, and I like to make people feel better. My mission is to help people to prioritize pleasure and peace.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

We were born on the same day, folks. So I was really excited to find that out. Same day. She's the first, again, expert, sex educator, content creator I came across. So you're definitely going to want to check out her YouTube channel because it was the first YouTube channel I started watching and very not only entertaining, but educational and fun to watch. Again, I don't need to tell you why to stay to the end. If you can achieve more success in your life through masturbation, and you all know that I believe in this, yeah. Many of you who have been listening know that I'm doing my 365 days of orgasms. Pleasure is a resolution journey for you guys to follow on my website and my social media. It's very similar sort of line of belief. But here's another method that you can use. And I'm sure she's going to enrich all of our lives with more knowledge around masturbation, sex, and manifestation. So let's jump in and let's start talking about how to orgasm your way to success. Cheers.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

Just that.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

So I want to start by just asking you what the O method is.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

The O method is also known as sex magic and orgasmic manifestation. And I think people use it, use the O method because it's probably one of the only terms that we can use on social media without being punished. Because words like sex and orgasmic orgasmic are obviously quite problematic. So it basically it's a very similar concept to the law of attraction. The law of attraction is about imagining or visualizing that you already have your desired outcome and imagining it in your present life and feeling the emotions and the gratitude as if it's already happening. And that's a kind of a state, the law of attraction. But this is more of a practice. So this is actually so the in basic terms, it would be setting an intention for your sexual practice. So like a that could be, I want a new car, and then you would enjoy yourself, stimulate yourself, and then in the normal way, and then right before the orgasm, you would go back to the car and then send the energy out to the universe. And it's a really yes, so that's kind of it, that that's what it is in in basic terms. There are many different methods, and some people find that whole concept of thinking about a car or a house or paying the bills at the moment of peak pleasure to be kind of distracting. But there are many techniques to overcome that.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

I could see that. I could see how it won't be distracting because we're always told, especially in sex with someone else, that the things that keep us from being able to enjoy it are thinking about those life challenges that we're facing or the life needs that we're facing. Now, so one of my first questions about this is is this something that you only can do alone or can you do it partnered?

SPEAKER_02 7:44

You can do it with a partner. I would highly recommend consent, though. I think it's very important to let them know that you are doing it. And there are many different ways to do it with a partner. I prefer to do it alone because when I'm with a partner, I just prefer to just be, you know, skin to skin and just be mindful of the of the experience because that's magical in itself. But I prefer to do my, you know, my wish list when I'm alone. But when you do it with a partner, I have a chapter in the book I'll I'll talk to you about in a minute called Multiply the Magic. And it can be very powerful if you're both aiming for the same goal. Imagine you literally are multiplying the magic. But there are other ways to do it. For example, you could be with a partner who is supportive of your dream and just is sending you the sending you their energy, but they don't know what it is. Or you could be both having different dreams or something or different um desired outcomes. But that to do that though, you would need to be with a partner who is open-minded. Because this is this is very this is a very kind of woo-woo space. So it does require, you know, people with an open mind, I guess, and support of that. But it's very important to, I think, express to your partner, share with them that you are doing this if that's your intention during your practice.

Three Levels Of Sexuality

SPEAKER_00 9:49

I guess that makes me also think about where you have to be in your own journey with sex and orgasm and your own self-pleasure practice, right? Because especially with women, there are so many women I know personally and generally that feel odd about masturbation. And masturbation is just something that's done quickly, and and there's like some shame and discomfort around it. So, in your own journey, do you need to be in a place where A, not only do you believe in manifestation? And I think the law of attraction is a great way to put it out there because that was such a phenomenon for a while. So people are really familiar with it, but there's some science based behind it, right? The idea of knowing you already have something in the future and being so grateful about where you are heading. There's there's actually some real truth to that, science or a scientific backing to that, if if people need that, if they have a hard time like believing in magic, right? So you kind of have to be there mentally. But what are some things you can do to prepare yourself, maybe for the orgasmic manifestation practice if you don't even masturbate that much or you feel weird about it?

SPEAKER_02 11:21

Well, in my book, Orgasmic Manifestation, I talk about I created this framework called the three levels of sexuality. And level one is overcoming trauma and shame. And I think many of us do have trauma and shame. I think it's very important to kind of overcome that as best you can before going to level two, which is all about pleasure, intimacy, reproduction, this type of but I used to think that level two was the highest level because I was very much focused on promoting pleasure, raising orgasmic awareness, I like to say, and helping women to kind of really enjoy their bodies and tap into the power of orgasm. But then I discovered level three, which is power, which is all about manifestation, healing, cosmic orgasms, sacred sexuality. So I think you have to kind of have this internal process. When you get to that those levels, those higher levels, you're not going to be ashamed of masturbation. You're going to see it in a whole new light. And I think this is why it's so taboo and shameful, because it's powerful. And I think it's literally taking it into your own hands or toys, and then you're taking it to another level. I do think that understanding the power of orgasm and manifestation does help you to, it did for me at least reframe how we see masturbation. You see it as something like a very profound expression of self-love. And it's I I think it's connecting to God. I I like to see it as get the gateway to God and the divine and the cosmos, etc. Because I'm really tapped into that level three personally, and that's how I that's what really excites me right now. Because I've been focused on you know pleasure for for many, many years. But I think there's something even more powerful than just pleasure for pleasure's sake.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

How did you get there? How did you get to level three?

Hitting Rock Bottom To Breakthrough

SPEAKER_02 13:02

Well, it started, it was actually 2018, and I had been a sex birth for nine years at the time, and I was living in this tiny apartment that was on the sixth floor, no elevator, and it was a penthouse apartment, which sounds great, but there was no insulation. I was absolutely freezing the whole time, and I didn't have a sofa, I had no pillow, but I had 300 vibrators, so I was living a very kind of weird life, and I was cold and hungry all the time. And I remember I was invited to it to a dinner party. I was so lonely as well. I was going through quite quite a lot of loneliness, and I remember it was 15 euros for the for the menu, and I was thinking, I don't know if I can afford it. 15 euros. So, but I was so lonely, I thought I'm gonna go anyway. And I went along, and when I came out of that dinner, it was raining, and I had to walk in the rain all the way home. I had no money for an umbrella or for a taxi. So I just the next day I really hit rock bottom, and that those are the moments that you know that's when you we make profound change in life. Sometimes it does require something like that to happen to for you to actually start taking action. And the next day I went to the beach and just watched these rough waves, and I thought something's got to change. So then I went home and I started to Google self-help material, and I came across the book Think and Grow Rich, which is the best-selling book of success of all time. It's it was published in 1937 by Napoleon Hill. It's still selling a lot today. And there is a chapter in this book called The Mystery of Sex Transmutation, and I was like, ooh. So that my interest was I was very interested in this, and I was wondering why is there a chapter about sexual energy in a book about success? So I started to dig deeper, and sexual sexual mana transmutation is about let's say harnessing or channeling your sexual energy energy towards your goals. So, in simple terms, when you're horny, instead of just indulging in masturbation or sex, you would actually maybe breathe or even guide your energy with your with your thoughts or through meditation and then and then do the activity that's aligned with your goals. So it could be when you're horny, I'm gonna go to the gym, or when I'm horny, I'm gonna actually start writing the book I want to write. So you've got this extra energy in your body. So it's a different outlet that's non-sexual. And I thought that was very interesting, but at the same time, I was a sex toy reviewer and I thought, I'm not gonna deny my orgasms, not gonna do orgasm denial. So I wasn't quite happy with that definition. So then I started to Google more sexual energy manifestation, and I came across a video by Teal Swan, who's a well-known spiritual influencer, and she has a video which I think is called about something about orgasm and manifestation, and I thought, wow, this is it. And this was on a Saturday or something. So I thought, when I well, as soon as I watched this video, it was basically about orgasm, you know, setting an intention before the orgasm, as I described earlier. And I thought, tomorrow I'm doing it. So that day I started to imagine avocados and cashews because they're quite expensive. So I was it's kind of easy to imagine those things. I was salivating and just like imagining avocados and cashews in my mouth. And then then on the Monday, I get this surprise payout from something I'd forgotten. I was like, oh wow, then I can go to the supermarket, get my avocados and cashews, and pay the rent and pay everything I need. So suddenly I was like, wow. So I had that. I think it's important in manifestation to have these small wins, these small victories that give you the confidence to go for the next ones. And from that moment, which was actually March the 3rd or something to 2018, then I did it, did it every single day. I did actually morning and night. I think it was 62 orgasms in the March 2018. And every single time I was thinking about what I wanted to manifest. So primarily I was focused on, you know, money, finances, collaborations. And it really changed my my practice because before that time I was just masturbating, thinking about my erotic triggers, you know, what's going to take me to an orgasm. And almost it took me like maybe nine, ten minutes to have an orgasm. But in this case, I started to I created this method called eroticize your desire. So I started to integrate my desired outcome in my fantasy, which is a lot of work in your mind, but I have a very active and um developed imagination. So, for example, if it was, let's say, paying off all my student loan debts, I would imagine being in my apartment and the breeze on my naked body, and I'm calling the student loans company in the UK saying, Here's your money. Or I was imagining, you know, reading emails with the with the subjects, collaboration or proposal or things like that. So I was really trying to integrate those ideas or concepts during my practice, and especially just right before that orgasm. So my my it did take me so much longer to have an orgasm because there's so much happening in my mind during that practice. But very quickly I started to get success. I mean, within a few months, I actually paid off my entire student loan. I was expecting to do, you know, instalments and and defer it, but I just like paid off the whole lot. I I just got a lot a lot more collaborations. My YouTube channel started to grow because I only had 3,000 subscribers when I started doing this. And it just went, it was it was quite incredible. So within about a few months, it just started to really accelerate. And then I started to believe it more. And then the more you believe, it's just it just really feeds itself, and then I moved to a bigger apartment. Now I have five pillows, which is abundance, because I'm telling you, not having a pillow is one of the most uncomfortable things ever. I was sleeping on a very old mattress with a with a folded blanket, and now I do have a sofa. I you know, I've I've just kind of like really upgraded my life in in many ways. So ever since then I've been practicing orgasmic manifestation, I've given many workshops about it, make made lots of content about it, and I'm a bit sometimes a bit apprehensive about how I speak about it because it's we're bringing two taboos together, like sexuality, as you know, is already raising eyebrows, it can you know create a lot of people can judge you, etc. etc. But when you bring a kind of this witchy element, it's like, has she lost her mind? What? So I'm I'm kind of but but the the results speak for themselves, and also I've I've coached people on it who who have have have manifested much bigger things than I have, and that really, really inspires me.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

I think it's an interesting truth that especially women like you and I who work in this space, if you are masturbating enough, if you're exploring your own sexuality enough in a way that you're seeking pleasure and to know more, you can't help but hit this place, find a door, right, if you will, where you're like, oh, there's more to this than just physical pleasure. Because there is that sexual energy, and it's interesting to me that this energy is focused on, and in the first book you said was published in the 1930s, right? Yeah. I talk a lot about how sexual energy is an energy of its own that exists in all of us, but we've been taught to hide it kind of in the corner and only take it out at night in bed with your partner. But when you allow it to exist throughout your day and stoke the fire of everything you're doing, it changes how you move through this world altogether. And it's incredibly powerful. And so it sounds like this is something people have known about for a long time. But because it's taboo, and I think that taboo is also very much focused on women and shaming women. Well, most of us don't have that power, right? But if you're orgasming enough and doing the work that you and I are doing, I think most of us find that door, and then we're like, oh, happens if we peek beyond it and start using it for something other than just pleasure with ourselves or our partners.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

Absolutely. Because I used to get bored of my fantasies sometimes. So this brings this gives me a new sense of purpose when it comes to masturbation. I think it's a whole new understanding of what it's about.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

So someone who's listening to this and is like, all right, I'm interested. I want to give it a try. How can they set themselves up for success? Especially if masturbation hasn't been a regular part of their life.

Techniques To Eroticize Your Desire

SPEAKER_02 21:44

Well, I think the first step is just to actually just to touch yourself masturbate. I think you need to, you know, to get to the level one or level two of the levels I mentioned earlier, before I think this is a really higher level practice. I think you need to know how to have an orgasm before indulging in this. However, if you if you can't, if you haven't experienced that yet, you can you still have sexual energy and you can do the sex transmutation thing, which is what Napoleon Hill talked about in Think and Grow Rich. There are other ways of harnessing your sexual energy. So when you're feeling horny and stuff, you just actually do the thing that's aligned with with your dream. So I think I think that's the first thing. But the very first thing, you know, once you're orgasmic and you know how to pleasure yourself and you have that tool and that practice, you know, under control or you know how to do it, then I would say the next thing is to decide what you want. And it's interesting because most people don't know what they want. People complain, complain, complain all the time. But if you go down to, let's say, port and you ask a captain of a ship, where's your where's your next port of call? They know where they're going. You know, they know the route, they they know. So I think it's important. I mean, anyone who practices set law of attraction or similar will tell you that you know having a specific goal is so important. And most people don't really know what they want. So I think the first thing is to create your own wish list. And you can kind of go crazy, just get a notebook and pen and a bit of you know, time aside, or even go somewhere nice. I used to go to the beach and do mine, or go to a cafe, so I'm kind of out of out of my usual surroundings and think what's going to make me happier, what's going to bring me fulfillment? And there are other ways to do this. In the book, I talk about you know, health, wealth, and happiness. Those are kind of the main categories of the self help industry. Other things you can do is you can get the wheel of life, which is a coaching tool that's quite common. The wheel of life is usually it's basically a circle that's divided into eight or twelve segments, and those segments vary depending on the modality, but it could be things like finance, romance, relationship. Relationships, home, travel, you know, things like that. So you can you can maybe score those areas of your life and see which parts are not quite working and what can you do to get them better. Then from that you can kind of come up with a wish list. Once you have a wish list, then you can think about maybe prioritizing the wish list, maybe grouping things, some things together. But then what's really important about that wish list is not the wish itself, but more the feeling behind it. So for example, it's let's say a house or a car can mean different things to different people. A house for some people could mean an investment. It could mean a commitment from with your partner, it could mean stable future, you know. So you have to think about is that is and then you can ask yourself the question, is the house the best thing to get that feeling? Because you might want to adjust as well. So it's really important to have that awareness of the feeling behind the thing that you want and make sure it's a good, it's a good there's a good intention, you know, behind that. Because sometimes like let's say travel because I want to have a good Instagram feed might not be the best motive, you know, for for to want to travel, for example.

SPEAKER_00 24:51

Right. Yeah, and so how many times do you need to have an orgasm to get to manifesting the thing you want?

SPEAKER_02 25:02

People ask me that all the time. I think when for me, I've had many different methods over the years. I did get a bit obsessive with some of these things. I'm just going again and again and again. But what I said in my book is like it's like when you go to a cafe and you ask for a coffee. If the server hasn't served you in 10 minutes, you might want to remind them, but you don't want to be going up every 10 minutes or every two minutes to, you know, not tap them on the shoulder. So I think it's about as and when, you know, do things a few times, I think, but not obsess. Because that's the whole thing about the law of attraction or anything like this or manifestation, is not to be okay without the thing, you know, because that's that's really important, that detachment, and not not be obsessive over this desired outcome and be okay if it's not going to happen. And you know, everything will happen in the right time in the right way.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

This conversation we're having is happening at a really profound time and a perfect time for the conversation because, as you know, solo sex is on the rise. More and more people are having sex with themselves as opposed to looking for partners. And so this is a great opportunity to not only use your solo sex time as a way to give your body the nourishment it needs through orgasm and pleasure, but also to feel like it's really focused on improving your life. Like when you're having sex with a partner, you definitely feel like I'm having sex with my partner. This is feeding our relationship and our life together. This sounds to me like another way you can look at masturbation as a way that it's feeding your own life in ways outside of the bedroom or wherever you masturbate.

SPEAKER_02 26:49

Absolutely. It's a it's a practice of intention setting, you know, and goal setting. And what what I'm interested in now, after so many years in this industry, I'm interested in the non-sexual application of sexual energy and sexuality. I think that's just so interesting about how sacred sexual energy affects other areas of our lives. So I think it's just really interesting how we can play around with that energy in a very intentional way and have this increased awareness of it as well. Because sexual energy is aliveness, you know, it's just this bubbling aliveness and joy, you know, it's a gift. And I think expressing it in a way that's aligned with your dreams can be incredibly beautiful.

Reframing Sexual Energy Beyond Horniness

SPEAKER_00 27:36

I am too. I think it's been fascinating to see how discovering my sexual energy, especially later in the life, has affected my whole life, and then how also just finding that energy and knowing it's a thing. I feel like the awareness of sexual energy is hard for people to understand or comprehend if they aren't in our line of work. Right? People are just like, well, I get horny. You're talking about being horny, right? Turned on. That's what you're talking about. But it's not just about that, right? Sexual energy is something altogether else.

SPEAKER_02 28:21

I think it's vast. And I've found, I don't know if you can share this experience with me, but I have found that many people, when I explain what I do, they just they just reduce it to titillation and seduction and orgasm. And it's so much more than that. In fact, that is the smallest part of it. You know, being sexually empowered, it's one of the most profound experiences you can exp you can you can have in life. It just affects how you walk, how you dress, how you show up in the world, your confidence, how you speak to people, and and the relational decisions that you make. So it's just it's huge. And I think we can to use this tool for I just think it's so, so powerful. So I for me now I don't I don't really think about you know an orgasm just for pleasure. I I really want to make the most of this. I mean, it is still pleasurable. It's just a a bit of a reframe on on what the intention is. And I just think it's incredibly powerful. And I love sharing it with people because and I love hearing people's stories as well who've who've used it and had success.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

And people of any gender can use the O method, right? This is not specific to women or people with vulvas. Men, people with penises, all genders can harness this sexual energy.

SPEAKER_02 30:32

Absolutely. In fact, I've read all the books that are available out there. I just went into Amazon and put sex magic, and I've read everything about it, have a whole shelf of the books on this topic, and they're all written by men. So I think I might be only the first or second female who's written about this. So, and that's what I say, that's what I tell men. But then there's all these questions about which I don't know how to answer personally, about you know, the energy and the semen retention. And people ask me about that all the time. Because in the spiritual world, people are talking about, you know, ejaculation, losing energy. But then if you speak to a urologist, they'll say, well, you need to ejaculate to for prostate health. So I'm not really sure. That's not my my experience. But but I think I think absolutely anyone can can experience and and practice this.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

What would you say to a woman who is, let's say, mid-40s and older, whose libido is tanking and is like, well, I want I want to manifest things, but I'm in perimenopause, I don't feel sexy, you know. Like many women our age didn't have satisfying sex for the first part of their life because there was no pleasure-based sex education. And she's kind of starting at ground zero on and on top of it, has perimenopause symptoms like dampening. She doesn't even get horny. So she's like, How do I access this when I don't even get turned on anymore?

Perimenopause, Sensuality, And Reigniting Desire

SPEAKER_02 32:02

Well, I think you've got to want to want it. That's the first thing. You got to want to want it. It's not just like I'm not, I'm not, it's not, I'm not horny. You've got to want to be horny to actually find those solutions. And obviously, I think first port of call has to be visiting a medical professional just to see what your hormonal status is and what's going on, if you need any help with that. But I think you know, going for the orgasm might be, you know, not really the first objective. I think tapping into your sensuality will be the first thing. And I don't know if I have anything here, but there's so many toys and tools that really can help you to just let's see if I've got something here, like something that's kind of narrow. I'm just going to show you just an example with this with a toy, like something like using, you know, these toys that are very narrow at the tip to actually caress your whole body and really explore erogenous zones, get a massage, have different types of massage, but really connect with your body with your naked skin. Something I think is really amazing is just being naked as much as possible, like sleeping naked, always touching yourself, using coconut oil, and even having, you know, a bath if you have a if you're if you have a bathtub, and just tapping into sensuality as much as possible, maybe rose petals in your bath, but really celebrating your body and touching your body, maybe maybe writing a letter to your body, cupping your vulva, speaking to your vulva. And I really think those practices can be the first step of really connecting with your body. And um, and also I think it was something really powerful, it's just hugging yourself, you know. So I would say that that's the first thing. But I do I do think massage is a great thing to do, you know, get regular massages and get curious about massage and try different ones. I mean, here in Europe we get there, you can get tantric massages as well in in places which are quite interesting. I've had a few experiences like that.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

Do you explain? Do you explain what a tantric massage is? I have no idea.

SPEAKER_02 33:55

I live in Barcelona and I used to work for I used to write for El Pies, which is the biggest Spanish newspaper, so I had a sex column, and I used to have some very interesting experiences through you know being a columnist and being quite well known. I was I was hailed as the most influential sex blogger in 2014, which was nice. And I really like to experience things. So a tantric massage center reached out to me and asked me if I would like to come along to do a collaboration. So just to basically write an article for El Pies and then write about my experience. So I went along and no idea what I was going to experience. And it was a tantric massage. Well, basically the masseuse is is naked, and it's not really kind of a needing massage, but they were kind of like you're naked, they're naked, and it was so sensual, like using the fingertips and nails even on your feet around your ankles. And I was thinking, I never knew my ankles were so erogenous. So it's just it's just so wonderful to be a sex bird and still be in a place of self-discovery. So the the the tantric massage is a very, it's not like a massage where people are you know focusing on contract the contracted areas of your back or your muscles. It's more like it's more like stroking and different ways of of caressing a body. And even, for example, around the breast, instead of like grabbing the breath, they'll be like literally tracing a bra. And that's what you think, wow. I wish I I should I need to do this more often. So even the neck and and in even like around the vulva, and in these places I do have offer a happy ending. So there is like an orgasm at the end. But for my first experience with this, I just didn't want to have that. I just felt a bit weird about someone, you know, being paid to to give me an orgasm. I just however the the people were very professional and they were like, why not? Why not? And I was like, it's okay, it's okay. But what's really funny is like the rival center, when they saw my article, they called me and said, We want to have the same, we're gonna, you know, we want to you to have a free experience here and in exchange for content, but we insist that you have the happy ending. I was like, okay, if you insist. But there's no actually.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

Was that a good, it was a good happy ending?

SPEAKER_02 36:05

Yeah, it was it was so weird because I I didn't experience I didn't expect it to be such a comfortable situation to be in. But these look these sit places are very, very clean and they're they're very sensual. There's no sex at all in it. You know, it's it's just these are places just a sport tantric massage. So it's quite popular here in Spain. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:26

That would be I don't think we have that in the US that I know about, but if it exists, let me know. I will definitely reach out to them to find out more. But that does sound like a really wonderful way to like r start to reignite your connection with sexual energy and want and desire, right? I around my 40s, mid-40s, I have lost the spark, and I just did a lot of edging to like read to like wake my body up again, which helped. But I do think in order to want it and to have that energy, it's something that you've got to stoke in your own body, right? You've got to feed that fire. And a good way to do it is through activating pleasure somewhere on your body, right?

SPEAKER_02 37:27

Absolutely. I mean, even a head massage, any type of massage can just help. I really think sensuality is the first step. And just understanding that, you know, we have so many nerve endings on our skin, there's so many areas of our bodies that can provide pleasure. So tapping into that first of all, and that already is going to be relaxing, and then relaxation leads to arousal, etc. So I think you know, orgasm is not the main destination. And also I think if you I never think that orgasm should be the goal. I think it's pleasure. Pleasure is the goal, and orgasm is a consequence or a result of pleasure. So, and even if you don't have an orgasm, it doesn't really matter. You know, I think it's about just building up pleasure slowly or quickly, however you want, but not pressuring yourself, I have to have an orgasm, you know, none of none of that.

SPEAKER_00 38:13

So, my question would be this let's say you have you struggle to orgasm and you still want to do this practice. If you are doing this practice, you're manifesting, you're having pleasure, but you just don't get to the orgasm, can you still get the benefit? Or do you have to have the orgasm to manifest?

SPEAKER_02 38:35

Well, I would say it's definitely beneficial because I think from if you neural pathways, when you are doing something that you enjoy, you're creating new neural pathways. Or it's kind of like your your brain is more like a sponge, but something to overcome that or to something I talk about in the book is actually to masturbate to affirmations. So to listen to affirmations that are aligned with your desired outcome. Let's say if it's love, money, whatever, listen to them and then self-pleasure, because then your body's like more receptive because you're in the state of joy and pleasure. So it doesn't really matter if you're gonna have an orgasm or not.

Rituals, Tools, And Lunar Timing

SPEAKER_00 39:13

I like that. All right, I want you to set the scene for my listeners. They they're bought into it, they're like, Yeah, I'm I want to start this practice in my own self-pleasure life. What are the things they can do to set up a session for success? Let's let's draw the picture. Things that they can use. What do they wear? What do they not wear? What does their bedroom look like? Do they do it somewhere else? Are there candles, music?

SPEAKER_02 39:45

It can be as ritualistic as you want. I mean, some of the books that I've read about this, they tend to go very ritualistic in terms of setting up this magic circle and maybe having a bath first and the candles and essential oils and all of that. The crystals as well, if you like crystals, because maybe crystals are a there are some crystals that are aligned with your desired outcome that you can just put on your chest or around you during but it depends on what what your preference is, and sometimes it can just be a five-minute thing, you know, it's just you just your thoughts. So I think it's as and when it depends on your mood, the moment, and what your your preference is. And something that's really cool is I mean, in my book, I've got this kind of like maximalist and minimalist approaches, and I've got lots of rituals explained and described. And something that's really cool is is to actually, you know, treat it like an occasion or some kind of celebration, and even have some dancing in it as well. Like imagine when you're dancing, celebrating that you've got the desired outcome. So you start to move your body, listening to music that's bringing joy, music that might be aligned with the goal that you have. That's a great way to kind of get things moving. Um, so I I like to in in the book, I I have a whole have a first part of the book is all about the the techniques, and then I have a part of all about the enhancers. Enhancers refers to things like essential oils, and I have some potions like a love potion, a money potion. I can't remember what the other one is, but there's a couple of potions there, and also crystals like citrine would be something for money, rose quartz for love, and then some health things as well. So you can have some crystals around you, maybe create some kind of sacred environment around your your where you're going to be lying, and maybe a sex toy you can consecrate a sex toy. You can have a sex toy that's your your money sex toy, another one that's your love sex toy, or health sex toy. So that's kind of a nice way to also to create a change your perception on on sex toys as well. Because sometimes you know, people think they're frivolous objects, but in fact they are power tools, they are magic, magic wands, quite literally. And also, I think something that's really nice is essential oils because you're getting that sensorial effect as well. So something that's you know reminding you of and then when later on you can lit smell that again and it will get you back into the zone because you know smell does is very much connected to memory, and so you can reactivate that desire or that connection to your desired outcome. Another thing, of course, is lunar cycles, and for example, today is a new moon. So a new moon is all about setting intentions. So uh on a new moon is a great time to actually come up with your wish list to set those intentions of maybe three things that you want to call in. I only focus on one thing per orgasm though, so you don't you don't want to be confusing. Confusing things, and then you know, full moon's more about letting go of the obstacles that are in your way of of of your dream. So I am I I talk about the lunar cycles in the book and also going from new moon to full moon, that's when the moon's getting bigger, the the waxing phase, and that's that's when you want to focus on things that you want more of in your life. And then after the full moon to the the waning phase to the new moon, that's when things are getting smaller, the things you want to get rid of. Maybe you want to lose weight, maybe you want to overcome obstacles, so you can work with lunar cycles as well. So there are many things that you can actually work with. It just depends on how elaborate you want to make it. But having these extra enhancers is giving you extra cues, extra kind of information for your brain to focus on, and you can always listen to those things later. And also affirmations, and I also talk about binaural beats and solfegio frequencies. If you're not familiar with that, that is music therapy, because we are water, and all music has different frequencies. So if you look for binaural beats in in YouTube, you'll find many tracks. So a binaural beat is let's say you have one frequency going in one ear, another frequency going in another, and your brain creates a new kind of wave, and you have to listen to a binaural beat with headphones to actually get the effect. And these different frequencies are connected to different desired outcomes. For example, there are frequencies for love, abundance, or different organs of the body for health, etc., or even for concentration or relaxation. You can find, if you look for binaural beats and then whatever it is you want, you will find many, many examples on YouTube. And that's a nice way to kind of because music is very nice to just relax anyway, and it it they do sound sound quite nice. But if you don't want to have earphone earphones, then you can use another technique called sulfegio frequencies, which is the same thing, but it's just they're just one output of a frequency. And it's saying that these frequencies are influencing the water of our bodies because we are water. And it this comes from a book called, I think it's called Memory of Water or something, where they look at you know different energies and different water crystals that have been you know blown up in in a in under a microscope. So there are some frequencies where like love and harmony, they're kind of very harmonious, whereas things like hate or whatever are kind of not harmonious. So it's kind of like creating that harmony in your body through sound, and then if you're creating that frequency or listen to a frequency that's aligned with your desired outcome, then that can be another way to enhance the power. So, and also you're having the orgasm as well, plus the the the scent, the crystals and affirmations. You can listen to there are affirmation tracks with binaural beats as well, so you can actually get all of this stuff going, and then you can actually just have a top-up and and just l do these enhanced things without the orgasm, you know, just to kind of like reconnect with your desired outcome. But as mentioned, it's not good to obsess about anything, but to have a reminder is good, you know, to and also I think it's really important people don't talk about enough in manifestation, is actually to take action as well, you know, action up towards your goals. You're not you're not gonna just be lying at home masturbating if you want to pay your bills. I think it I think it's really it's about influencing your mindset, which is the first part of manifestation, is to really influence your mindset as much as possible. And also your belief that you deserve whatever it is that you desire. That's that's super important.

Scents, Chakras, And Daily Potions

SPEAKER_00 45:52

I mean, to be fair, you and I make money lying at home, master. We do. We're checking out all our new, our new magic wands. I love that really is sticking with me. I have often said that I hate the I hate calling the products I get to test toys because it does make them sound frivolous. And I think it degrades the integrity of what they can do for people, wherever whatever level you are at with your own sexuality. They can help you wherever you're at and get you to the next. I'm speaking back to the three levels of sexuality that you mentioned, right? Um, they really help elevate you to the next level. And especially. If you are a woman in mid midlife struggling with libido and desire and and just seeing yourself as a sexual person, right? Because of course society tells us once we're a certain age we're no longer sexual beings, which is not at all true.

SPEAKER_01 47:01

Right.

SPEAKER_00 47:01

Even I know that's not true at all. That was a beautiful picture that you drew and the enhancers that's very helpful. Do you you you covered sound and crystals? Scents, do you know any sense? I'm scent really drives me in a lot of directions and it it kind of shocks me how much it influences my mood. Do you have suggestions for scents in the environment that can be the best enhancers?

SPEAKER_02 47:33

It depends what your outcome is. Different essential oils are related to different chakras of the body, the different energy centers. And those are also related to different energies and outcomes. So for the root chakra, it would be patchouli, cedar wood, myrrh, frankincense. But if you want sex and pleasure, jasmine is a great one. That's a very sexy one. And Ilang Ilang as well. Sweet orange, anything like that is really nice for the sacral chakra. And that's related to reproduction, pleasure, just flow, even money. So it's interesting because that does the sexual energy, the sexual center is still the money center, which is interesting. And also that's a water element as well. So and also it's interesting because we talk about money uh with in terms of water terms a lot, like cash flow and income streams and things like that. And for love would be rose, of course, geranium, lavender, melissa, and then communication, which is our fortake as we are Gemini's, chamomile, eucalyptus. Yeah, so there's a whole uh range of things. And then I have in the book I've got actually got some some instructions to make a money potion, a prosperity potion, and a and a love potion. Because those are the things that most people want, you know, it's it's money and love.

SPEAKER_00 48:50

Money and love me together.

SPEAKER_02 48:53

Yeah, so it's actually fun to actually you know have a carrier oil, something like jojoba or and something else. I'm gonna give you a great tip now, like jojoba oil or even coconut oil in the summer when it's not solid. Then you can mix a few drops of the essential oil in it and then just put it on your body so you're getting that reminder all day. And sometimes I was struggling a lot with confidence, and confidence is like the solar plexus chakra, and that would be related to things that would be the like bergamo, um, or even something like lemongrass or something like that. I think it's lemongrass. The one that's for the yeah, so something kind of lemony or bergamo is good for the if you want more confidence as well. So it's kind of I I really like having a little ritual like that with you know after the shower or a bath, even if I'm not gonna have you know, not gonna do orgasmic manifestation, but to actually make a potion aligned with my intention for the day or what I'm trying to call in in general. So that's what I like about my book, it's very different from others that I've read, but it's a kind of more holistic approach to be always tapping into the thing you want, kind of thing. You know, through the moon, observing moons, or even there's also journaling exercises in it to to journal. I mean, I actually created my own journaling technique. Journaling is so powerful because journaling for manifestation, you're writing about your ideal, your desired outcome as if it's already happening with gratitude and emotion. So imagine if you are, let's say, you want to call in a new home. Let's say, oh, I'm in my new house now with my lover, and now we're unboxing all the boxes, and I'm naked, and now we're gonna celebrate in the hot tub. When you're writing that, you're gonna be, you know, envisioning your new home and you're gonna get the sexual energy through your hands and your written word. So you're gonna be excited, you know, writing your ideal love scene in the ideal thing that you are, of your ideal outcome that you are trying to create. So that kind of helps you to tap into your sexual energy without actually having an orgasm. That's something that someone who's not maybe in in a situation or in the mood for an orgasm can do. You can do that on a plane, you can do that in a cafe, anywhere.

SPEAKER_00 51:00

You can. I love that. So before we head out, I've got a couple questions. First, what are your favorite magic wands and if you will, tools for manifesting through orgasm?

SPEAKER_02 51:16

Anything really, because in my in my work, maybe similar to you, I I cannot afford to have favorites. There's no way. I do love the Satisfier Pro Too. That's probably my go-to that I go back to a lot. But I do that's a real indulgence because there are other toys to test. So every week I have to test new things. And I think it's really powerful to you know change it up. I think it's a really good exercise. So otherwise we can be doing the same thing over and over and over, and then that kind of can block other toys, you know, from working, and also can affect your your experiences with humans, which we of course that is we don't want to be ruining that. So I think it's really good to change it up. So I I could I can I don't really have favorites. And also I have to say that this technique of orgasm manifestation means that I don't want it to be too quick. You know, I want to because it's a whole thing happening in my head. I'm really relaxing and taking my time and conjuring up lots of imagery in my mind. So I don't want a five-minute thing.

SPEAKER_00 52:17

Right. So maybe not your go-to favorite toy when you're just and then for my listeners, people who are listening to this right now, whether you're kind of questioning it, you're thinking it's strange, but you're like curious enough that you're like, I'm gonna give it a try. I want to give it a go. What are three things they can start doing as soon as they're done with this episode to start manifesting things orgasmically in their life? What would you tell them? Here are the three things to do starting tonight.

SPEAKER_02 52:52

First thing, the wish list. Just think about one thing or three things that you really want to call in. What are the things that are gonna bring you fulfillment and joy in your life? Make sure it's something that's you you want it for the right reasons. You know, not for ego or anything like that, but something that's gonna really bring you joy and also joy for those to those around you as well. And the second thing, maybe get a good toy. That could be a good excuse to buy a new toy, perhaps. And then with that new toy, you can consecrate it with that intention and do a little ritual, a little meditation, and just like sit with it in your hands and uh really put that energy of money or love or whatever it is, or uh or travel or whatever it is with you in it. And then the third thing is just do it and and practice and yeah, experiment with it and just maybe create your own techniques. And I think I think for some people, I mean you don't have to in interrupt your standard practice that much. It's just at two moments, which is the moment at the beginning setting the intention, and then write at the orgasm. That's the kind of minimum, the minimum changes that you you you can make. You know, some people kind of like will sit with the intention after or even write about it, but that just depends. If you I mean, for I from my experience, I just find that people want to have the minimum change to their normal practice.

SPEAKER_00 54:14

Right. I have one more thing they should start doing, and that or one more thing they should do tonight, which is buy your book. Can you hold your book up really quickly? Yeah, fantastic resource. So you're going to want to buy the orgasmic manifestation. Oh, I like the cover. I like the cover. And of course, there are gonna be links to this book. It's a full guide. So go to the link and buy it, and this is gonna be your guide. I mean, what do you have to lose? Would be my question, even if you're skeptical. Um, how often do you think they should ma just from sex bird to sex bird, and especially someone who really focuses on uh masturbation the way I do, right? Um do you think a person for their own health and their own energy and their own well-being should masturbate?

SPEAKER_02 55:16

Do I think they should? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 55:18

How often?

SPEAKER_02 55:20

How often? As and when, I don't think you there is a set time. I mean, for me, sometimes it can be daily, other times it can be, oh, it's been a week has gone by. I I don't think you should be thinking, oh, I need to masturbate now. I don't think that's the point. It's it's pleasure, it's not, it's not a d it's not a duty. But in our uh sex birds, a sex bird is like when we have to sometimes, when we have extra techniques to kind of okay, I've got to try this toy now, I've got to do this review, and we have to kind of get it in the mood, you know, quickly. But it's good to have those those techniques in our minds to to adjust. But I don't think that's true of everyone. We have a very different way of masturbating and a different way of of using toys. I mean, recently someone asked me, do it what about the lifespan of a toy? Is it is it less than it was years ago? I'm like, I have no idea because I only use it use a toy a couple of times, and it's and it's put away in my spare room. So yeah, we have different different ways of of doing this.

Starter Steps And Favorite Tools

SPEAKER_00 56:13

And I think also it's really good for me that I am forced to, we know, because I have times where, and I'm kind of coming out of the end of last year and the very beginning of this year, I've been in a lull with my own energy and struggling a little bit. And I am so lucky that I have to masturbate regularly because I think it helps me not just allow myself to sit in that, right? It kind of pushes me to keep the fire stoked, if you will.

SPEAKER_02 56:50

Yeah, I agree. I mean, for me this is the day, actually, I had to I test test the toy, it had been a couple of days, and I could really feel that tension in my body. How I didn't realize you just sometimes you just don't realize how much tension you're holding. It's like when you go for a massage and you you can't really perceive any pain in your body. But then when the masseuse starts to touch you and not tantric this time, but just a normal one, but when the masseuse starts to kind of work on your back, you're like, oh, I didn't know it was painful there. I I think it's very similar with with masturbation and pleasure. And then sometimes it can be good to wait a little bit and not do it for a few days because then the release is more intense. So I find that too, you know, sometimes the release is more intense and it's more pleasurable that way. It's like a reclamation of pleasure, return to your body.

SPEAKER_00 57:37

Well, thank you so much for joining me today for this conversation. I think, especially given that it is a the Chinese New Year, this is a perfect time to be having this conversation and also giving people an opportunity to start a new ritual in their life that can really enhance on so many levels, even if you are at sort of that base level of sexuality and you're not ready to knock on the door of the spiritual aspect of it. This is going to help improve you, your life wherever it's at and help you move towards the things that you really want in your life. If you could tell my listeners all of the places that they can find you, of course, I will be letting them know myself and I will have links in the show notes, but go ahead and let them know where they can find you.

SPEAKER_02 58:30

Well, I'm pretty much everywhere as Venus O'Hara. You can find me on LinkedIn, on Instagram, YouTube, and yeah, that those are the main platforms I use. And then my podcast, The Orgasmic Lifestyle. That's on Substack and on any podcast platform. So we're very aligned in our orgasmic missions.

SPEAKER_00 58:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 58:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:51

Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much for joining me today, folks. Get the book.

SPEAKER_02 58:58

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 58:59

What do you have to lose? Even if it's not, you know, you don't believe in the idea of manifestation, you're gonna get orgasms out of it. You have zero to lose, right?

SPEAKER_02 59:12

Absolutely. And I think it's also important to even if you even if you are at that level one where you're still waiting dealing with trauma and and shame. I I hope this conversation and this this this knowledge of this practice can help you to reframe how you perceive sexuality and and orgasm and just know that it's it's a bit more than just pleasure and just uh instant gratification. There's more to it, potentially, depending on what you want.

SPEAKER_00 59:36

Yeah, it's beautiful and meaningful and powerful. So, listeners, until next time, I'll see y'all in the locker room. Cheers.